You'll need to decide PvP or PvE first. This will literally divide your potential player population in half. If you want aggressive free for all play, go PvP. You'll have a lot of fun, but may struggle to get events going due to random raiding.
From my experience, the "white flag" rule is often ignored and is a paltry attempt to pander to both crowds. Best off sticking to one type of play.
PvE allows you more room for fun non battle related server events such as an arena and such. Using tribe warfare during those battles ensures that only the players who are fighting in the arena are capable of hurting others, and keeps the secret raiding and bullshit away.
I own a fully PvE server, these are my thoughs.
That said, YOU bought the server, YOU set it up in a way that makes you happy, and then you will find players to fit your play style.
Feel free to message with other questions, I am at work but will respond in an hour or so when I escape.